There's a particular bible verse that God has been laying on my heart over the past few days:
"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God." ~Psalm 20:7
At first, I wasn't sure why I kept hearing those words in my head, but today, it's making sense.
My 19 year old son, Taylor, just graduated from Coast Guard basic training last weekend. He's been home, enjoying a short break before he has to report to their cooking school in Petaluma, CA on the 23rd of this month--that's NEXT WEEK!
This has been a very emotional time for this Mommy. As my oldest child is preparing to leave home, live on his own, and serve in the military, my head is filled with thoughts of fear and worry.
What if something bad happens to him?
What if he screws up when he gets there and spends more time partying than working. After all, he is about to have more money and freedom than he's ever had--a 19 year old, with his own car, in California...YIKES.
What if he ultimately strays away from God now? What if he turns his back on his relationship with Christ?
And here's the thing, I believe the reason that bible verse keeps popping up in my head is because of the way I have been trying to combat those negative thoughts. You know how we're supposed to "take every thought captive"? Well, I think I've been doing that part, but the second part of that verse says to "make it obedient to Christ". That's where I have dropped the ball.
I've been trying to comfort myself by reminding myself that he is in the Coast Guard now...he just completed basic training, so he's much more responsible.
I've also reminded myself that Taylor's girlfriend is very mature and a strong Christian influence in his life.
Those thoughts aren't necessarily wrong or bad, I'm just realizing that I am trying to place my hope and my confidence in THOSE things in Taylor's life instead of resting in God and relying on His promises. (which is why I haven't had any peace!)
It's hard. But I know this is God answering that prayer of mine for increased faith! This is a huge opportunity for me to exercise what little faith I have right now and then to see God prove Himself faithful to me yet again. He has never let me down. And I must keep in mind that He loves my Taylor way more than I do!
This verse is a good reminder too:
"No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame" ~Psalm 25:3