God has sure been speaking a lot to me about worry. (Not surprising since I've spent a lot most of my time doing just that ever since my son joined the Coast Guard back in October!)
God has also been reminding me of this verse:
"...for the joy of the Lord is your strength." ~Nehemiah 8:10
No wonder I have felt so weak and scared! My primary focus has been on my son leaving home and how much it hurts.
I can't even believe that, yet again, I have fallen into this pit. Worry IS a pit. It is a most powerful tool the enemy uses to keep us ineffective as Christians. It steals our joy, which tarnishes our testimony. And let's face it, worry is VERY self-centered.
"...do not fret—it leads only to evil." ~Psalm 37:8
When all my thoughts are consumed with worry, first and foremost, I neglect my relationship with Jesus. I withdraw. I am not attentive to my family. And, as I have realized today, being consumed with worry blinds me to the needs of those around me. Honestly, when I am so wrapped up in my fears and feeling sorry for myself, I am less likely to intercede for those who so desperately need my prayers. This is what hurts me the most. I'm too preoccupied to see what God has put before me...who He would have me demonstrate His love to. I don't have to look far to see:
~a close friend experiencing complications from a recent mastectomy
~another friend recently diagnosed with breast cancer
~a family still mourning the loss of someone dear to them as they face their first Christmas without him
~a friend contemplating divorce
~a friend struggling with depression
Worry not only says to God "I don't trust you", as far as I'm concerned, it also says "I'm too busy with my own concerns to pray for yours." OUCH. That sounds so harsh, but I have to say that is where I feel I have been for the past couple of months. I must be alert to the enemy at all times. When I begin to worry about Taylor, or anyone or anything, I must act quickly to combat it and recognize it as one of the enemy's schemes to keep me: from having joy, from being an effective testimony for Christ, and to stop me from praying.
Prayer is a powerful thing, so the enemy knows exactly what he's doing by keeping us so focused on our SELVES that we forget to intercede for others! We must stay focused on Christ and His power!
...So this seems like a good time to reconnect with the Gratitude Community over at Ann's blog and continue naming {at least} 1000 gifts I have received from God :)
These things bring me joy because they are undeserved blessings from God. And after all, the joy of the Lord IS my strength!
36. Taylor's graduation from Coast Guard basic training :)
37. Clear roads and good weather for Taylor's road trip to cooking school in California
38. a quiet dinner with my best girlfriends
39. sitting in a dark room with only the Christmas tree lights on
40. redemption
41. Psalm 37:4
42. the "goodbye" card Mac made for Taylor (that brought him to tears)
43. the Holy Spirit's conviction
44. being married to a man I REALLY love...who REALLY loves me.
45. good food shared with family
46. text messaging :)
47. reassuring words from my Daddy
This made me think back to your last blog talking about faith.
Your need to want and experience a deeper faith. If you are focused on the needs of others, praying for them, seeing prayers answered, your faith will become deeper and stronger.
This is something I have learned and am experiencing first had.
Of course Satan will consume your mind with your main worry of your son now. And making this accomplishment can cause your faith to become weak and your mind comsumed with fear and worry.
I am not attempting to tell you what you need to do at this point because you have already made that turn.
You are the most godly, influential woman in my life now and I am greatful for everything you have to say. Admitting your weakness, then knowing how to turn and walk on that path He has placed before you.
You are close to my heart and always in my prayers!
Posted by: Angie | December 21, 2009 at 04:58 PM
What a good word, Amy! I struggle a lot with worry, too at different times in my life. You make such a good point in saying that focusing on our own worries keeps us from ministering to others. I was reminded today of this book I read once--the basic idea was the cure for almost any emotional problem--depression/anxiety/stress/worry, etc. is to do a good deed for someone else 14 days in a row. It works! Thanks for the good post.
Posted by: Sandra Wald | December 21, 2009 at 05:24 PM