~My Sweet Life~

"Because I Said So"

Does this ever happen to you?

You firmly tell your kids something, get irritated because they are slow to "get it", and then a little while later, God brings that conversation back to mind. Only this time, He's speaking the very same words TO YOU that you had spoken to your children! And you realize your kids aren't the only ones who are slow to "get it"! I hate when that happens! ;)

My pre-teen daughter is all about asking "why?" when she is told to do something. My response? Usually I say, "First of all, because I am your mother and I said so!"

Well for the past few days I've been thinking about a couple of things God has told me to do/not to do and ashamedly, I must admit I have had my daughter's response. "But WHY?" Let's be completely honest, I've even thrown in a "that's NOT fair!"

But today, God has given me some answers. Maybe not the kind of answers I was looking for, but answers that let me know I can trust Him. Answers that let me know that even though I can't SEE what He's doing, I can rest assured that He IS at work in my life. And if I will cooperate with Him, instead of demanding my own way, He can do mighty things through me.

Let me explain...one of my favorite things to do--especially at the end of the year, is to look back through my prayer journals and see how God has worked. Recently when I did this, I noticed something. There were a few times I had made a note that I felt God prompting me to shut down my blog. The funny thing? I never did! I made a note in my journal each time I felt Him telling me to do so, but I never did what He said. Why? It was something I enjoyed doing, so it didn't make sense to me.

Well this morning while I was doing laundry, I was reminded again about not being obedient to what God had said about my blog. And then for some reason, I started thinking about how God had put an end to me leading women's bible study at my church. That had really hurt me and I still have days where I question it. It was something I LOVED to do. One of the few things I feel confident about doing.

And at that moment, I clearly felt God saying to me, "When you keep yourself busy doing the things YOU want to do, you leave no room for Me to do the things that I want to do through you."

Wow. Finally it was clear to me. Instead of surrending myself to God, making myself available to Him as a vessel He could use, I was more concerned with just doing things that I enjoy doing. And even though they might be things I ENJOY, if God hasn't called me to do them, they are nothing more than hindrances to His work in and through me.

After finishing that load of laundry, I sat down and picked up one of my devotional books--"My Utmost for His Highest". And just as He always does, God confirmed what He had just laid on my heart. This really spoke to me:

"Once God has begun the process of sanctification in your life, watch and see how God causes your confidence in your own natural virtues and power to wither away. He will continue until you learn to draw from the reservoir of the resurrection life of Jesus...It is the saddest thing to see people who are trying to serve God depending on that which the grace of God never gave them."

And then a little while later I signed on to Twitter and read this from someone I follow:

"When God says no to my request, He's also saying He has a much better plan. Lord, Your ways are so much better." ~Anna @ Empowered Magazine.

Do you ever feel "stuck" in a rut? Like you are making no progress in any way, shape or form in your life? I have been feeling that way for awhile. I can see now it is because I am not being obedient to God in every area of my life.

The first time I felt God telling me to put an end to my blog, I should have done it right then and there, no questions asked--just like I ask my own children to do! Instead, I acted like I knew better. And leading bible study? Again, something I enjoyed and felt very confident doing.

But...I think God really wants me to trust Him by stepping out and doing things He calls me to do...things that require me leaning more on Him and less relying on my "natural abilities" just like that devotion said.

This will be my last entry on this blog. It feels good to do what God wants me to do, I'm just ashamed it is happening months after the first time He put it on my heart.

I could pout and question God. But I trust Him. I know that God knows me well. He knows how much I love to write and share and encourage. So I know that God will put those gifts to use...just probably not in a way I would ever be able to come up with on my own. And I love that. Can't wait to see what He is up to!

"Obey God and leave all consequences to Him." ~Dr. Charles Stanley

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

Say It NOW

I've thought quite a bit about a sermon I heard at church this past Sunday. It was called "My Legacy" and just one great message in a series titled "The NOW~Living Like There's No Tomorrow".

We watched a couple of scenes fom the movie "The Bucket List" and our pastor threw out a question to us that was discussed between Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson in the movie: "Has your life brought joy to others?" Isn't that a great question to ponder?

“Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered—how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath.”  ~Psalm 39:4-5 (NLT)

"The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever." ~1 John 2:17 (NIV)

*Point #1: SAY IT NOW. Don't put it off any longer! Who in your life are you thankful for? Do they know it? Why not tell them how much you love and appreciate them TODAY? Are there people in your life that you want to impact? Make a list of those people and write beside their name what you want to say to them by completing the thought: "Above all else, here's what I want you to know..." . Set a deadline for sharing this with them.

"Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in Him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you're on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive." ~Philippians 4:5 (MSG)

*Point #2: SHOW IT NOW. Demonstrate your love for others, don't just talk about it.

"Do not merely listen to the Word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." ~James 1:22

"In the same way, you should be a light for other people. Live so that they will see the good things you do and will praise your Father in heaven." ~ Matthew 5:16 (NCV)

*Point #3: SHARE IT NOW. That is, your resources, your gifts, your love, etc.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." ~Matthew 6:19-21

At 3:30 this morning we received a call that a longtime friend of our family had died of a heart attack. We are still in shock.

And I'm reminded of this sermon again. After the news sank in a little, my first thought was the quetion of his salvation. I'm not saying he wasn't saved, I'm upset with myself for NOT knowing.

And he had been sick for awhile. I KNOW that we could have done more to bring joy to his life. We could have had him over for dinner, we could have invited him to our church. I, personally, could have done a hundred different things to be Jesus' hands and feet to him and his family.

This hurts my heart. I am sick with shame.

"Father, please open my eyes to those in my life who are lonely and sick and lost. Give me words of love and encouragement to share with them for Your glory. Help me point them to you. Give me courage. Help me to not give a single thought to what they might think of me for boldly sharing the gospel of Christ. Real lives are at stake here. Help me remember that. Forgive me for the times I have been too busy or unconcerned. Give me a heart that longs to demonstrate Your love to everyone I meet. I pray that the way I live my life might draw others to You. In Jesus' name, Amen."

*please note that the 3 main points I shared were taken directly from Hope Church's bulletin dated 11/15/09

Meaningless

During his sermon yesterday at church, our pastor referenced a scripture from the book of Ecclesiastes. I looked it up so I could follow along, but then a verse on the opposite page caught my eye. It literally seemed to jump right out at me!

    "Much dreaming and many words are meaningless..." ~Ecclesiastes 5:7

Whoa. Those words have so penetrated my heart, I haven't been able to stop thinking about them since discovering them God first led me to them yesterday.

See, procrastination is my middle name. I'm great at dreaming. I can come up with all kinds of plans or ideas, but I'm not so much on the follow through. I'm also great at talking. For example, it thrills me when I sense God actually speak something to me. So in my excitement, I have often told others about major things God has laid on my heart--before I should have. Because even though the talking part comes easy to me, the following-through-in-obedience part seems a lot more difficult. I'm sure that's partly due to some level of fear or low self esteem. Part of it is just flat out laziness--there's no need to sugarcoat it! But whatever the reason, the bottom line is that it dishonors God.

I can tell everyone all day long what great things God has planned for me, but if I am just sitting and dreaming and talking about it, but DOING NOTHING...well, what kind of a testimony is that?

It's MEANINGLESS. Just like the verse says! And I am thankful that God reminded me of this. So now the question is...what will I do about it?

I have to take ACTION. I have to confess this "character flaw" to God as SIN and ask for His help to overcome it. Because it is a big deal. In fact, the bible calls procrastination a sin. And I believe the first step in overcoming it is to really view it the way God does instead of making excuses for it.

  "Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins." ~James 4:17

That's pretty clear, huh? Talk about NOT sugarcoating!

After seeing it the way God sees it and confessing it as sin, I am going to ask God every single day to help me get better at following through with things...beginning with obedience in the little things I like to put off. Then, after conquering those "little" things with God's help, I can tackle the bigger things. I can and I will. After all,

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." ~Philippians 4:13

 

Wordless Witnessing

I just read a very thought-provoking devotion from Proverbs 31 Ministries and it has really challenged me this morning by asking the question: 

"How would others know you are a Christian if you couldn't say a word?"

As I have spent some time meditating on this and examining my own heart, I've thought of a few ways I could better model Christ without using a word:

1. I can demonstrate KINDNESS by simply smiling at every single person I meet. Think about that. Can you imagine how nice it would be if everyone YOU encountered throughout your day actually SMILED at you? And wouldn't you be inclined to "pass it on"? I think this is a good start!

"A cheerful look brings joy to the heart." ~Proverbs 15:30 (NIV)

2. I can demonstrate FORGIVENESS and choose not to hold grudges. If I am honest, I recognize (and appreciate!) the fact that God has forgiven ME of so much...how could I NOT pass that same mercy and grace on to others? This is a huge way we can model Christ to the watching world. I fully believe that if we claim to be Christian, those around us are watching our responses to those who hurt us to see if our walk matches our talk.

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one  another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." ~Colossians 3:13 (NIV)

3. I can demonstrate PATIENCE. OK, it blows my mind to think of how many opportunities I have each day to honor God in this area of my life: while in line at the grocery store, when my kids want my attention and I am tired, when my husband has had a bad day, when the driver next to me is rude, etc. Yikes! LOTS of opportunities!

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness" ~Galatians 5:22

4. I can SERVE OTHERS. If I can do this with no desire for--or expectation of--receiving anything in return, then I am truly modeling Christ. And I believe what is key here is remembering who I am in Christ. If I am confident of my worth to Him/in Him, then focusing on the needs of others OVER my own needs is much easier. I won't need to worry about what others should do for ME.

"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms." ~1 Peter 4:10

5. I can CHOOSE "BEST" over "good" or even "better". I am given 24 hours in each day and there are certainly LOTS of choices to be made in each hour. I believe I can best model Christ by choosing what is BEST for me over things that may actually be considered  "good". These choices would include--but are certainly not limited to--what I watch on TV, what books I read, what websites I visit, what music I listen to, what kinds of influences I allow in my childrens' lives, what foods I eat, and so on.

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it ALL for the glory of God." ~1 Corinthians 10:31

What about you? What could you add to this list? Read the devotion (linked above) and after prayerful consideration, make your own list. How can you best model Christ to others without saying a word?

Thoughts on Competing and Comparing

After I typed that last post about my negative thoughts at the women's event the other night, I wondered if I should have been so honest! ;) I knew it was bad when it was happening, but seeing it in black and white just made it seem even uglier!

I hope you were able to read  the post by Lysa TerKeurst that so spoke to me the next day. She reminded us that we are not here to compete with others to receive praise and glory for ourselves. We are here to glorify GOD and lift up HIS name. Period.

My favorite part was where she shared that after she had prayed to God about her own bad attitude, she became intentional about blessing OTHERS. She decided that she was going to take every encounter she had with others and not only GIVE a blessing but also seek to receive one.

She said "As women talked to me, I looked for some blessing of truth, challenge, or revelation I could glean from this other person. Even if the person was self-focused and not caring a bit about giving me anything, I chose to see my interaction with her as a blessed reminder not to act that way myself." I love that idea! Can you imagine what the world would be like if we ALL adopted that mindset?

I want to do the same thing. I want to BE a blessing to every person I come in contact with and also seek to receive a blessing from them...meaning, I want to look at each person through God's eyes and ask Him to show me what positive thing I can learn from them or from my interaction with them. I guess what I'm really saying is, I want to see God's hand in every circumstance, every person He brings into my life on a daily basis.

When I was thinking about the concept of giving/being a blessing to each person I meet, what instantly came to mind was that phrase in 2 Corinthians 2:15 that talks about "the aroma of Christ". That's what I want to leave people with. Instead of hoping people really like ME and approve of ME when I talk to someone, or interact with them in any way, I really want there to be an aroma of Christ that lingers. I want my words and my actions and everything about me to point to and glorify HIM.

If I am really serious about this I need to look into God's Word to fill my mind with His truths. I need to remind myself often that I am a daughter of the King of Kings. He sent His only Son to die for me. He loves me that much! He is sufficient. There's just no reason for me to wear myself out trying to please others or gain their attention when I already have Jesus Christ as my best Friend. Living my life to bring glory only to Him is what will bring me lasting peace and joy. (Thanks, Lysa, for the reminder!)

God Crashed My Pity Party

Well I must confess that I have spent the last several days throwing myself a MAJOR pity party. I was really enjoying myself at first--you know, making it all about ME--but after awhile I wanted some company, so I invited a few "friends"...maybe you know them too? Their names are Discontent, Ungrateful and Envy. At first they were a lot of fun to hang out with--you know, they understood me and sympathized with me. They had no problem joining ME in making the party all about ME. But it didn't take long for them to get on my nerves and frankly, wear out their welcome. In fact, they had made themselves so comfortable at my party,  it was very hard to make them leave. I finally got so desperate to be rid of them, I called out to God and asked Him to help me.  This morning He crashed my party. Let me explain.

You see, last night I attended a women's event at my church. I was having a great time because they were showing a Beth Moore video, I got to see some sweet friends that I have not seen in awhile, AND there was chocolate! (That's always a good thing!) So I was having a blast until the end of the evening, when a woman from my church was asked to share her testimony.

 As I sat and listened to her story, I began to throw my little pity party. Right there in my seat, surrounded by hundreds of other women. The more details I heard her share, the more bitter I became.  It seemed that so many things she shared about her personal journey were very similar to my own journey! In fact, my (ugly) prideful self sat there and thought "Why is she the one up there sharing? Why not ME?"

It was ugly and it was a pity party to end all pity parties and I was the not-so-proud guest of honor.  I was seriously repulsed by the negative and self-centered thoughts I was having. Instead of praising God for her journey, I questioned why I was not her. (yuck)

On the way home, I turned off the radio and decided against calling a friend for sympathy. Instead, I--as Joyce Meyer says--"went to the Throne and not the phone". I cried out to God. I confessed my ugly thoughts and attitude. And I felt so horrible about the way I was feeling, I begged Him not to be silent, but to please directly address this issue with me.

This morning, I logged onto the computer and decided to check out Lysa TerKeurst's blog (of Proverbs 31 Ministries). Lately her posts have been very relevant to me, so I was hoping for some encouragement. Well, not only did I find encouragement, I found an answer to my prayer!  Would you believe me that her blog's entry for TODAY is titled "Competing and Comparing" ? I'm still in shock! Is God amazing or what? I read it and it reminded me that God has laid on my heart many times that it is much more important for me to focus on blessing others than to focus on ME. (I hope you'll click that link above and read the article for yourself. If you ever struggle with competing or comparing, you'll find encouragement in her words).

Today I embrace a fresh perspective on my rotten attitude--and also notice that my pity party "friends" are finally gone.  And I am reminded of this verse that Beth Moore discussed in her video last night:

"In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and He answered by setting me free." ~Psalm 118:5 NIV

**tomorrow I will share my thoughts on Lysa's post!

To Be versus To Do

Recently I shared about a blog I LOVE called Burning Bushes.  Not only do the posts inspire me to daily fix my thoughts more on Christ, but--even better--how to also APPLY God's Word to my every day. I want to share a great xample.

Not long ago, Nicole wrote about making a "to BE" list instead of a "to DO" list.  Since I have always been a big fan of "to do" lists, I was intrigued. And now after having read her article, I have a new and improved perspective. Here's the deal: when we make out our daily list of things we feel we need to do, we can't help but become task-oriented. We may start out the day with a good attitude and optimism about all we hope to accomplish, but would you agree with me that more often than not, by the time we reach the end of the day, we feel a little discouraged because we didn't do many of the things we had planned? And so, not only do we start to feel unproductive, but also overwhelmed when we have to carry those unaccomplished tasks over to the next day's list!

Here's Nicole's point: Instead of making a to DO list and focusing on all your "chores", make a to BE list and turn your focus to the roles you currently have in your life.  You start by prioritizing all of the roles you currently have in your life (Christian, Wife, Mother, and so on).

Next, for each role you list, find a bible verse that directly applies to that role and perhaps relating to something God is trying to teach you in that area.  I have found it beneficial to ask Him to direct me to scripture that would encourage me in each role.

After you find a verse for each role, write down your top 3 goals for the week within each role. I hope this doesn't sound too complicated or too time-consuming. I have been doing this on Sunday evenings before bed or in my quiet time on Monday mornings and have found that it is helping me be much more intentional about spending my time on what really matters.

Nicole suggests that at the end of the week you take some time and get alone with God on your list and look at what worked and what didn't...especially before making out the next week's to be list!

My scanner is not working right now, but I wanted to share what my to be list looks like to give you a better idea of what I'm talking about.

Role #1: Follower of Christ ("Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus." Philippians 2:5) Goals for the week: 1. Meditate on/memorize scripture; 2. Journal prayers/answers to prayers/lessons God teaches me; 3. Guard my mouth against gossiping and complaining.

Role #2: Wife ("...the wife must respect her husband." Ephesians 5:33b) Goals for the week: 1. Evaluate spending habits and cut back where possible; 2. clean/straighten Stephen's nightstand for him; 3. Stay abreast of job listings and apply where I qualify.

Role #3: Mother ("Therefore encourage one another and build each other up." 1 Thess 5:11) Goals for the week: 1. Make a point to bring attention to things the kids do right and praise them for it; 2. Pray with the kids; 3. Look through closets to see what the kids need in the way of clothing for spring/summer.

Role #4: Homemaker ("Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." Colossians 3:23) Goals for the week: 1. Clean showers thoroughly; 2. Purge toys in Mac's room; 3. Plan good-tasting, budget-friendly meals.

Role #5: Family Member ("Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2) Goals for the week: 1. Be available to others; 2. Call Mom and Daddy regularly; 3. Be a better listener.

Role #6: Hope Church Member ("Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful." Colossians 4:2) Goals for the week: 1. Pray more for email prayer list I receive from church; 2. Pray for my pastors; 3. Pray for Married SS class to continue to grow and for more married SS classes to be formed.

Role #7: Friend ("Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." James 5:16) Goals for the week: 1. Pray more often for friends; 2. Admit struggles to a close friend and 3. Ask for prayer.

Role #8: Neighbor ("Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:4) Goals for the week: 1. Smile and speak to others; 2. Take regular walks to get out and meet my neighbors; 3. At least one random act of kindness to a stranger.

I realize you still may want or need to make longer lists within these roles--esp for something like homemaker, but you get the idea here. It's really been helpful to me to put the focus more on my roles and to tie a verse to each one to remind me of all God wants me to BE instead of getting hung up on individual tasks. Yes, I still fall short and neglect some things I care about, because I'm human. But I have found that when I focus on my role as a mom or wife--and what God's Word says about those roles--I am much more inclined to be productive in that area and to be a blessing to others in Jesus' name. And I think that's a really good thing.  :) Thanks Nicole, for sharing this with me.

A Baptist Girl and Lent

When my Mom heard that I had given up Facebook for Lent, she asked "Now why is a Southern Baptist girl observing Lent?".

I chuckled a bit to myself and told her that I didn't really see it so much as me observing Lent as me giving up something for a time that was coming in between me and God. I don't typically observe Lent, but as the season approached, I heard people talking about what they were going to give up. I did a little bit of reading on the internet about Lent and what it is and while I was researching, I just felt God put Facebook on my heart.

You see, I was spending HOURS a day wasting time on there. I know Facebook is good in some ways in that it helps you reconnect with old friends and stay in touch with loved ones, but in my case it had clearly become an addiction. I tried to deny it for awhile, but my husband started making a few innocent comments about me being on it so much. I realized it was true and it was wrong.

It was wrong because I was guilty of putting it before keeping my home up, spending time with my husband and kids, and most importantly--and what God wanted me to see--I was putting it before Him. I realized that logging onto it was the first thing I thought of in the morning and the last thing I did before going to bed at night. So when I felt God sort of nudge me while I was reading about Lent, I got the message loud and clear. I promised Him I would fast from Facebook at least during Lent.

I can't tell you how many gasps of shock I got from people when they found out why I was all of a sudden absent from Facebook. And it sort of scared me initially! I thought "Oh my gosh, what have I done? Have I promised God I would do something I really can't follow through with?!" But can I tell you that it has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.

I gradually began to spend more time with my family and with God. And the relationships in my home clearly benefitted from my decision. But the best part of this has been that I HEAR from God more. Because I was hearing so much from Him, I started to jot down the things He was putting on my heart. And when I saw it with my own two eyes, how much and how often He was speaking to me, I felt ashamed for letting my Facebook addiction rob me of that precious communication with Him. I mean, what else compares to that? Nothing.

So I asked Him one day, "Would you tell me what else keeps me from hearing from you? What else is a distraction?" And I realized that I have gotten too accustomed to "background" noise. When I'm at home alone, I have the TV going regardless of whether or not I am in the same room. When I am in my car, I have the radio playing. So I decided to turn those things off as much as possible. And that has been a blessing to me as well. In fact, some of my best times of prayer recently have been spent in my car, usually on the way back home from dropping the kids off at school or on the way to pick them up in the afternoons.

God has impressed me with so many things since I started this break from Facebook, I have decided I want to share more about it on my blog. I've thought about shutting this one down and starting a fresh, new blog and I've also considered just just changing this one up a bit. Who knows? We'll have to wait and see what happens.

I encourage you to find out what things in your life keep you from hearing more from God. I guarantee if you ask Him, He'll reveal it to you because His will is for you to have a deeper relationship with Him. And you'll be amazed when you find out how often He wants to talk to you!

"Life knows no greater joy than you will find in converse and companionship with Me." ~ from God Calling, March 17

Foolishness

I had such a good time this morning. I woke up early (not as early as I should have), made some coffee, turned on the fireplace and opened my KLOVE devotional book. Today's devotion pointed me in the direction of a passage of scripture that just spoke volumes to me. What a great feeling.

I've already mentioned that due to some busyness in my life, I've gotten away from my quiet time alone with God each day. Slowly, though, I am getting back into the groove. And today's time with Him was so encouraging.

I've confessed neglecting not only my prayer time but also time spent in the Word. (after all, they should go hand in hand!) And recently I blogged about how things seem to fall apart in my life when I am not regularly studying my bible. I stop reading and meditating on scripture and then forget how God instructs me to live my life! For instance, maybe someone wrongs me and I get my feelings hurt. When I don't have God's Word hidden in my heart, I'm tempted to respond in a way that hurts that other person, hurts me, and pretty much dishonors God. Without God's Word in my heart, I try to do things in  my own strength and it just doesn't work. It sounds strange to say, but I am realizing that God loves me so much, He allows me to experience trials so I can be reminded of my desperate need for Him! What a true blessing that is.

Another sign of His love for me? When I am feeling disconnected from Him and yet seeking Him, He has always been faithful to show me "the way back". You know what I mean? Tell me you can relate to this: you go through something hard, you cry out to God, and He seems to give you answers. He teaches you something about why you are experiencing your trial. Maybe you're not quite certain you understand the lesson, so you keep praying  and He shows you a little more! He shines a little more light on the answer for you. A great example of this is my recent post about my pastor's message and how the scriptures he used spoke directly to my heart and sort of confirmed some things I was already thinking. And then I listened yesterday to Nancy Leigh DeMoss' radio program called "Revive Our Hearts" and she is talking about what I JUST blogged about--needing to stay in the Word. (not just reading it, but also applying it to your life). That really got me thinking. So here's where it gets even better...

This morning my KLOVE devotional was on the exact same topic! And the passage of scripture used in the devotion that was a real eye-opener for me was this:

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a crash." Matthew 7:24-27

I guarantee you I have read those verses like fifty times. But this morning it was different. They made much more sense to me today. I thought about how depressed I had been when we were on vacation and even through the holidays while we moved into our new house. I thought about the tension in my home recently that caught me off guard and made me feel so hopeless. I even recalled just this past Sunday, when literally every single time I opened my mouth I  bit my husband's head off! And most of the time for no reason! It was like hateful words were just flying out of my mouth before I could catch them! :0

Mostly I thought about how distant I have felt from God for some time now. I read back over Matthew 7:24-27  and really thought about it. And I realized this point that God has obviously been trying to drive home with me...that I can read every translation there is of the bible...I can attend every bible study offered...I can listen to messages spoken by great pastors and other godly speakers and authors...but if all I am doing is reading or listening and not DOING, then I am that foolish man that the bible speaks of, trying to build my house on the sand. 

So after reading today's devotion and the related scripture, I literally wrote in my journal "This explains a lot about my life." It's easy to see why I experience such highs and lows...I love to read and study and listen to the Word of God--which is great--but the most important part is to DO what God's Word says. (And is it just me or is that part a little harder?!) Yet that is what it means to build your house on the Rock. And I think it's worth reminding myself that God's Word says:

"Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." John 14:21 (NIV)

 "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does." James 1:22-25

I Am My "IT"

Is that title confusing to you? If you were at Hope Church this weekend, it would totally make sense! ;)

Our pastor began a new sermon series called "What's it to You?". Today's message was Part One in the series titled "How Do You Lose It?". He started by asking the question "What do you need to lose?" They rolled up on the stage a giant pair of letters spelling the word "IT" and showed a short video where people wrote down what their "it" is on it. One person said anger. Another said secrets. Another said worry.

So the first thing we were asked to do was to identify the "it" in our own life that we need to lose. I instantly began tearing up because I knew I needed this message. I did not hesitate to write on my bulletin that my "it" is SELF centeredness.

And then lo and behold one of the first scriptures Craig referenced was Ezekiel 28:2 "In the pride of your heart you say, 'I am a god...' But you are just a man and not a god., though you think you are as wise as a god." (NIV)

Whoa. I looked down at the life application section of my bible and read this: "When truly wise people get closer to God, they recognize their need to depend on him for guidance."

Craig went on to discuss how we wear ourselves out trying to play God. We try to control everything and everyone around us. By this point I am feeling like Craig is preaching directly to ME! (oops, there's that self-centeredness rearing its ugly head again! JK)

But seriously, this is where I am. I don't mean to make excuses, but before we went on vacation in November, I had a pretty good routine of getting up each day and starting it with God. Then came vacation, where not only did I NOT have any quiet time with God, but I also became obsessed with material things. Temporal things. Things that DON'T matter in the grand scheme of things!

Then we got home from vacation and moved into a new house and I attempted to get back into my quiet time each day, but to be honest I was treating it more like something to check off my to do list. Naturally, the farther I have drifted from enjoying intimacy with Christ, the more stressful things have been in my life. Why? Well, when I choose to sleep later in the mornings instead of waking early and allowing God to fill my cup, I grow very weary very quickly. I am too spiritually dry to handle day to day stresses in my own strength! And I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound corny, but truly...when you get out of the habit of reading your bible, you forget how God wants you to live. And when you forget what His Word says, you lose that peace and joy that comes from knowing Him and from living in obedience to Him. Am I rambling? Sorry! ;)

Back to today's message...Craig concluded his message by discussing what happens when we try to go it alone. He said you find yourself frustrated. (Romans 7:21,23 TLB) You feel fatigued. (Psalm 32:4-5 TLB) And you experience failure. (Proverbs 28:13 GNT)

All this was very good for me to be reminded of. It really hit home. And then he mentioned this verse:

"Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead." (1 Corinthians 1:9 NIV)

Oh my gosh! That is how I have felt lately! I had a couple of days last week where I literally felt like I was facing a death sentence. I can't tell you how much this scripture meant to me...esp the part I put in bold. My trials remind me that I need God! I can't go it alone, which is precisely what I've been trying to do!

Now here's the icing on the cake...my New Year's Goal, resolution, whatever you want to call it, is LESS of me. I'm disgusted with the level of self-centeredness I seem to constantly battle. I want God to be first in my life, then others, THEN me. And guess what verse Craig closed with? The wording of the Message version was PERFECT.

"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you, there is more of God and His rule." (Matthew 5:3 MSG)